I read this morning that obese women should not be given IVF treatment. Single women, lesbians and couples with children from a previous relationship should be eligible. This will make well-built women everywhere feel really good and head straight to the newsagents for comfort!

It’s not in the article, but I would guess sexual deviants and people with ginger hair are still below fatties – but they must be coming close.

Does this mean that fat couples should be sterilised for their own good? It’ll protect the health of the mother and the little fat baby, surely? Send fatties to the back of the bus – that’s what I say! Are there any people in Madagascar yet? There must be a final solution to this.

The key word is choice. Obese people should be warned about the dangers of being obese and this should be re-enforced with messages about the increased danger of being obese during pregnancy. There is nothing that will make an obese woman turn to comfort food more – the chance of having children removed by big brother.